Our Lives
by Izaranna
Summary: Each word has a million different meanings.Each meaning means different things to a million different people. And people use words. These are our lives. In words. "And everything comes full circle."
1. Hiruzen and the circle of life

A. **Azure** : To Sarutobi Hiruzen it is a color that means a lot of different things.

When he was a Genin , it meant Tobirama-sensei and his cool water style jutsus . It meant he was safe and protected and he didn't need to worry about everybody's safety anymore because sensei was there and he would protect everybody for him.

When he became a Chunin, and he went through the forest of death for his first B-rank mission, it meant water, it meant sustenance, it meant hope was not lost and he would live to see another day because, no matter how many enemy ninjas were chasing him and no matter how many bones in his body were broken and no matter how tired and hungry he was, at least he wasn't thirsty and he would be home soon because there was always hope that the next river would be the river that led him home.

When he became a Jounin, the color azure meant tears and anguish and pain and never seeing sensei ever again because he was gone and he couldn't protect him and his teammates anymore and it was only him that could do it because Tobirama-sensei had made him Hokage. It left a bitter taste in his mouth every time he saw azure.

During his first decade as Hokage, azure meant peace which was unattainable because there was a war coming and it was crushing the little innocence he had left like an ant under a ninja's body when it fell after having the life beaten out of it.

During his second decade as Hokage, the color had lost all meaning because the world was bleak and his people were dying and his wife was about to have his second son and the war might take everything away from him and his first son was getting married and was probably about to die in the front lines soon because he was a ninja and that's what happened to all of them and it wouldn't matter because it never mattered. The war was nowhere near ending and he felt he had failed everyone who had ever trusted him but what could he do?

During his third decade as Hokage, azure meant peace which was nearly tangible because they had the Yellow Flash and the White Fang and Ino-Shika-Chou and the Earth Daimyo was threatening the Iwa-nin to stop or else and Water had a new Mizukage and Asuma was happy and safe and alive and Biwako was smiling again and the sky was brighter and spring was almost there.

During the Kyubi Attack, azure meant tears and anguish and defeat and the sense of hopelessness that threatened to suffocate him because how could he defend his village from a demon that was supposed to be sealed because it was uncontrollable and Minato was AWOL and people were dying pointlessly because delaying a monster is impossible and ridiculous and just about the only thing he could do.

During his last decade as Hokage, azure meant survival. It meant the sky was there and the village was there and problems were there and old age was there and it was a struggle getting up every morning and leading a village that broke and mended and thrived underneath an azure sky. He could almost remember what it was like to smile.

When he breathed his last, he saw the azure sky and it meant home and peace and water jutsus and tears and memories and pain and joy and hope and love and it meant Naruto and the look in his eyes when he said he wanted to become Hokage and the feeling of safety it gave him and he could rest easy because he didn't need to worry about everybody's safety anymore because Naruto was there and he would protect everybody for him.

To Sarutobi Hiruzen, Azure meant coming full circle.

(644 words)


	2. Kakashi and Fate

B. **Believe **: A word that Hatake Kakashi forgot the meaning of.

Years of serving Konoha as a ninja left its scars on most everyone. Hatake Kakashi was no exception.

There were some days when he wondered why he kept on doing the things he did. Because out on the field, when the only thing you could smell was sweat, the only thing you could taste was the bile that rose in your mouth, the only sound that you could hear was the clash of kunai against kunai and the blood rushing in your ears and the only thought you could think was when the next attack was going to hit, 'fighting for Konoha' felt like such a useless reason.

He couldn't remember what his reasons for becoming a ninja were. Of course, there was the usual 'following in your fathers' footsteps' and 'I am a prodigy' and the occasional 'I can do it so much better than they can'.

But after a while, even those reasons failed to convince him that what he was doing was right.

Death, murder, assassination, bloodlust, _cruelty_ all in the name of a cause he didn't believe in.

Eventually the only reason he could think of was that if he didn't murder and plunder, he didn't have much of a reason to live. He couldn't do much else.

He could read, write, fight, do jutsus, eat, sleep and take care of his dogs.

He wasn't particularly good at anything else. So quitting was out of the question.

But it sickened him.

Then there came a time in his life when even the mention of Konoha and its 'will of fire' left a bitter taste in his mouth. He was going downhill and fast.

He thought it was mid-life crisis kicking in and that's what he told the Sandaime when he asked what was wrong. The Sandaime looked him in the eye, sighed and smiled sadly.

It scared Kakashi how it felt like the Sandaime _knew _that he had given up on Konoha and its principals.

That's when he asked Kakashi to teach. Teach children to murder and plunder because he was 'the best man for the job'.

He argued politely with the Hokage that there was no way in heck he was going to train children to become murderers.

But Kakashi was a ninja and he was the Hokage and orders were orders.

So he took on a team. And failed them. A second team. He failed them too. He was going to continue doing this because he didn't want a broken spirit to teach children who still believed to stop believing.

He failed six successive teams after that and took on even more dangerous missions for the sole purpose that if he did them, people who still believed in the village wouldn't have to.

But eventually the ghosts of his past caught up with him and he trained a team of misfits. One believed in the village too much, one believed in some day being able to catch the eye of a boy who wouldn't look at her twice and the third believed in himself so much, he thought he could beat an S-ranked criminal with just a few jutsus and good aim.

They believed too much.

And when sand and sound invaded, he believed without meaning to. He believed in them. He believed that they would stay alive, he believed that when Sasuke left, he had felt some sort of remorse, he believed that Sakura would get over Sasuke and excel in whatever she was doing because the village needed more of those type of blind believers. And he believed that Naruto would fix everything every time it broke because no one else could do it and he believed in it so much that it was no wonder nothing panned out the way it was supposed to.

Kakashi stopped believing that he had the ability to believe after that.

And then Pein attacked and the village was being destroyed and Sakura had chakra exhaustion and couldn't go on and Naruto was nowhere to be found and couldn't fix everything.

He wished he could believe that everything would be okay but it just wasn't.

And then he died. He saw his father and he was so tired that he didn't have the energy to hit him like he had planned to do back when he believed in the afterlife.

And he saw what believing had done to him and then he remembered why he had stopped believing himself.

And then he came back to life and Sakura was fine and Naruto had fixed everything like he was supposed to and Konoha would need to be fixed. And he still couldn't believe.

Life is full of miracles. One day you think you're going to die and the next, you feel more alive than you have in a long time. By the time he was ready to give up on everything, Everything gave up on him.

He had a broken hip and rheumatism to boot. He had to look over his shoulder every few minutes because Naruto might jump him from behind and break his already cracked ribs. He had to walk slowly because chakra-walking was not an option anymore. He had to be told things twice because even his hearing was failing him and he saw double sometimes and some mornings he woke up and couldn't remember what year it was and didn't even know who he was.

It was then that he remembered why he had wanted to become a ninja.

He remembered why and all he could do was laugh and laugh and laugh because it was the most idiotic reason _ever _and suddenly, it wasn't so difficult believing anymore.

_**Here lies Hatake Kakashi**_

_**Jounin and defender of Konohagakure no Sato**_

_**Who lived and died believing in the Will of Fire**_

_**He is an example to be followed by all.**_

'_Daddy, why do you believe in Konoha so much? Don't ninjas lose more than they gain?'_

'_Well Kakashi, why don't you become a ninja and find out.'_


	3. Shikaku and the Troublesome World

C. **Calm **: Because that was all Nara Shikaku wanted.

It all started on the rainiest day in Konoha history when the thunder clapped loudly in the sky. His three elder brothers were standing outside the door to his mother's bedroom with their father, who had just come back from a very troublesome B-rank mission which would have gone a whole lot better if 'those pathetic excuse for Chunin had the slightest amount of common sense!'.

The thunder got louder and nearer and the rain howled louder and louder and it nearly drowned the sound of a baby's cry, but the father heard it. And he smiled.

That was probably one of the rare few times that he did after that.

It was a caesarian birth and it was no wonder because the baby was very big and thoroughly too loud and too noisy and too troublesome and since the day he was born, there wasn't a single calm day in the Nara clan household.

Nara Shikaku entered the Ninja Academy and found it utterly boring because all that they were teaching, he had already learned. So he sat at the back of the class, hoping for some peace and quiet because he never got that at home because his brothers' were loud and annoying and troublesome and they didn't care that his head nearly exploded every single time they opened their mouths.

But it was not to be.

The girl sitting next to him was all kinds of irritating. She answered all the questions in class better than he did and _very_ loudly, she breathed too loudly and when he accidentally pulled her hair, she started yelling at him and screaming even louder than his brothers did and his headache got worse whenever she was around.

Tsukasa Yoshino was her name and she hated his guts and he hated hers and it would have been a wonderful arrangement if not for the fact that she nagged him and, as a matter of male pride, he told her to stuff it and, as a matter of annoying girliness, she yelled at him even louder.

But by the time he graduated, he had learned to get over the annoyingness of it all and had asked her, politely as is proper for men, to go out with him to say sorry for all the times he had accidentally-on-purpose pulled her hair because it was fun to see her face very red and flushed because she was always so damn calm even though he wasn't and he wanted to be.

She looked at him long and hard and with a disapproving look in her eyes and told him to stuff it and get lost and to keep dreaming because she was _so_ out of his league that it wasn't even funny.

Years later, when he was being interrogated by Iwa-nin while they tortured him, he would remember that disapproving look and grit his teeth and bear it because nothing was scarier and harder to handle than Yoshino.

But for now, he just glared at her and cursed all of the female gender and blackmailed the teacher into putting him in an all-boys' team. He wasn't sure if it was because of that or whether it had already been arranged, but he was put on a team with Inoichi the perverted idiot and Chouza the fat. And they got along great.

But he never had a peaceful moment because, with the war going on the Genin were sent on C-rank missions that required them to kill and there was always Inoichi ready to screw things up and there was always worrying that the next fight would be his last and there was always dad getting more and more drunk every single time he saw him and there was his brothers' deaths and funerals and the freakingly long list of classmates that had died or whose bodies were never been found or the littlest mistake that could kill them all and suddenly he hit puberty and, instead of becoming easier, life became even more difficult and troublesome because he was a Jounin and the last of his fathers' sons and if he died, then who would be the head of the Nara clan?

And then he saw Yoshino one day and he started worrying about her too because she was a kunoichi and she was a Chunin and she might die and never come home and then she would never yell at him ever again and then his team kept on getting even higher ranked missions and they were being called Ino-Shika-Chou and the best team of their generation and even more duties and even more responsibilities and even more troublesome problems because he was appointed Jounin leader and he was responsible of all those half-insane ninjas who couldn't and wouldn't take a break and by the time he was 25 and realized he had a life, he couldn't even remember the last time it had been calm.

And then his old man died and the whole world changed.

Because now he was the 16th head of the Nara clan and Chouza was the 16th head of the Akimichi clan and Inoichi was the 16th head of the Yamanaka clan and Chouza had gotten married and Inoichi had finally been caught by a blonde babe who kept him busy enough that he would probably have a million kids by the time he was 60 and Shikaku was nowhere near ready to get married because then he would have somebody else to worry about.

His head was never quiet these days and his headaches were getting worse and the world was too troublesome and now he started worrying about the members of his clan and clan rights and clan marriages and attending Council meetings and being chewed on and spat out and then the new Hokage took his seat and the war was nearly done but the war in his head never ended and he saw Yoshino again and she started yelling at him and then she kissed him out of nowhere and then she started crying and howling and loudly complaining and ordered him to take her out for Dango or she would throttle him.

He smirked and complied and she smacked him upside the head for acting like a cocky bastard and started yelling at him and grabbed his hand and dragged him to the Dango stand halfway across the village.

But her hand held his gently and she smacked him sort of affectionately and she was screaming at the world but not at him, and she was blushing a bright red. He thought he loved her.

But before he could tell her that, he was sent out on another mission as a part of Ino-Shika-Chou and he nearly died and Inoichi nearly killed the head nurse because 'God lady, he's dying and you can't find a freaking hospital bed!?' and Chouza did not let go of his body till they got Rin herself to heal him and even then there was going to be permanent scarring, three across his face and one along the length of his right leg and now he couldn't walk without limping and he was still an active duty shinobi and he was still ordering the Jounin to their probable and untimely deaths.

He remembered his dad and remembered how drunk he could get and he remembered his team drinking till they couldn't drink anymore and so he decided, 'why the heck not?' and he got smashed so badly that he had a hangover for a whole day and even then his eyes stung when he saw bright lights and he woke up with Yoshino in his bed.

When she woke up, she freaked out and yelled at him and smashed his porcelain vase and most of his prized possessions and then she slapped him and demanded that he fix this mess or she'd castrate him.

He stared at her wide-eyed and noticed that he really _did_ love her because his headache was gone even though she was screaming and yelling at him.

She told him to fix it and so he did. His solution was marriage. And she smiled and then she cried and then she told him he was a jerk and she slapped him and then she grabbed the ring he was holding and wore it and then she dragged him all the way to the Dango stand on the opposite end of the village even though there was a Dango stand just two feet away from where they were standing and he realized that she did it just to spend a bit more time with him and he smiled.

When he finished doing the paperwork and they had finished stating their vows, she moved into the clan household and made life impossible to live. She nagged him to pick his clothes up when he dropped them even though she was doing it herself, she slapped him around all the time and called him a lazy bum and a good for nothing idiot who 'doesn't even having a freaking brain!'.

When she became sick and went to the hospital to get a check-up, he went over to Chouza s' place for some tea and his wife baked a whole cake and around ten scones and a loaf of banana bread and by the time an hour was up, there was nothing left on the plates.

Inoichi came in after that and he started complaining loudly about crazy women who coerced him into getting married and they had a round of drinks and laughed about how stupid the Council meetings were and that Danzo should get a life and how crappy the war was and thank god it was over.

Then Inoichi started dancing around, completely and utterly smashed and Chouza laughed heartily, completely inebriated and Shikaku s' mind was buzzing and when he got home Yoshino told him she was pregnant and he flipped and his head hurt and for the next nine months he was running around going crazy and Yoshino was completely and utterly calm and then she smiled and he realized it was the first time she had ever smiled at him and he shut up and suddenly, he felt calm.

And then the Kyubi attack happened and Yoshino was due and he was scared out of his mind but he had to protect his village and so he led and he fought and he saw people die and the world was turbulent and his shadows were useless and _he_ was useless and he would die and Yoshino would die and their unborn son would die and he couldn't protect anyone.

Then suddenly it was over and moments later, word reached him that the Hokage was dead and it was horrible and sad and he felt like crying because he was safe and Yoshino was safe and his unborn child was safe but he was a man and men didn't cry, so he didn't.

Two weeks after that his son was born on the calmest day in Konoha history and there was a slight breeze and he was waiting outside Yoshino s' bedroom and hoping and praying that they both would live.

The baby was very late and healthy and didn't cry and wouldn't drink milk three months after he was born and Yoshino was panicking because 'no baby should ever be this quiet!'.

And Shikaku was calm and cool and level-headed about it.

He called her troublesome a million times and changed Shikamaru s' diaper and gave him bottled milk when he wouldn't drink normal milk and baby-talked with Shikamaru and complained about Yoshino to him and played baby games with him and loved him to death but never told him.

And when Shikamaru grew up, he asked Shikaku 'why the heck had he married a crazy_ troublesome_ woman like mom?' and Shikaku thought about it and realized it was because she made him feel calm every single time she smiled.

Life was full of troublesome days, but then, it wouldn't be his life if it wasn't. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

When Nara Shikaku died, it was a very calm day.


	4. Hyuuga and the Tree

D. **Divergent**: 'The main and the branch separates us and makes us who we are.' Hizashi to Hiashi.

They were brought into the world together. They were each other. They were the Hyuuga twins, eternally doomed to never be who they wanted to be.

Hiashi came first. Hizashi came second.

Hiashi came kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. Hizashi came nearly unnoticed and very quiet.

Hiashi grew up with everything material. Hizashi grew up with everything emotional.

Hiashi had everything he wanted, but _he_ wasn't what he wanted to be.

Hizashi was everything he wanted to be, but he didn't have what he wanted.

They were two sides of the same coin. They would never meet.

Heads and Tails. Up and down. Hot and cold. Here and nowhere near.

When they both entered the Academy on the very same day, one with his head held up high and with empty eyes. The other with his shoulders bent and his emotions utterly spent.

One had a face unmarred, the other had a grotesque green bird scrawled across his forehead.

They both did not want to be there. But they both had to be.

They sat on the opposite sides of the same room. They both wanted nothing to do with the other.

But they both secretly wanted to be together.

When Hiashi failed to meet their fathers' expectations, he was scared. He shouldn't have been.

When he didn't have anyone else to turn to, he ran to hide in Hizashi's room Hizashi came in and found him curled up uncomfortably under the bed. They looked at each other for a long moment.

Hizashi knew that their father was looking for his elder brother, but never once did he think of turning him in.

He took off the bandages around his head, and handed them to Hiashi. Hiashi hesitated for a split second before he attached them to his own forehead.

Hiashi walked around the compound as Hizashi and avoided his father until he calmed down.

Hizashi sat in his bedroom with his byakugan activated, watching over Hiashi and making sure he didn't get caught, just in case.

Hiashi never thanked Hizashi. Hizashi never expected him to.

When they grew up and were pitted against each other during the Chunin exams, Hiashi wanted to beat Hizashi very badly but never showed it.

Hizashi saw it and wanted his elder brother to be happy. He pretended to put up a good offense but, in reality, he was holding back.

Both of them were hiding the truth from each other. Both of them understood what the other hid.

Hiashi won. Hizashi lost.

Hizashi became Chunin. Hiashi did not.

Hiashi never held it against him. The world thought he did.

Hizashi knew that Hiashi never held it against him and respected him for that. The world thought he was appeasing him.

Hiashi and Hizashi. Hot and cold. Heads and tails. Up and down. Main and branch.

When Hiashi fell in love with his fiancé, Hizashi was forced to love his own.

When Hiashi became head of the Hyuuga clan, Hizashi was forced to become the head of the branch family.

When Hizashi told Hiashi that the branch family was the broken part of the Hyuuga clan, Hiashi smiled sadly and told him to fix it. Then he went behind the backs of the elders while Hizashi wasn't looking and did it for him.

When Hizashi became Jounin before Hiashi and the world hated him for it, Hiashi silently glared at them and then proceeded to gently spread the rumor that he was a madman.

Hizashi was loved by the branch family.

Hiashi was hated by the main family.

Hiashi never wanted to get married.

Hizashi always wanted to get married

Hiashi was ecstatic to marry his wife.

Hizashi wanted to do anything but.

Neither of them showed what they felt. They both knew how the other felt.

Hiashi's wife took his silence for callousness and scorn.

Hizashi's wife took his silence for love and acceptance.

The day Hiashi was wed, the whole clan congratulated them and the whole compound was decorated.

The day Hizashi was wed, only his wife's parents and the clan head were present and there was a single bouquet of flowers.

Hiashi made sure all the flowers and food at his wedding were Hizashi's favourite.

Hizashi made sure the bouquet contained Hiashi's favourite flowers.

All the wedding presents Hiashi got were expensive. Except one.

Of the seven wedding gifts Hizashi received, all were simple. Except one.

When Hiashi's wife woke up the day after the wedding, she saw a hand-carved box with a weird painting of a tree with a lot of branches with Siamese cats tied together with a bandage in the centre on her husband's side table. She was confused.

When Hizashi's wife woke up the day after the wedding, she saw an ornamental pin with jewel-encrusted clusters of lilies decorating it. She was confused.

The tree meant the main and the branches meant the branch. The Siamese cats were them and the bandages were fate.

The pin belonged to their dead mother.

Ever since the wedding, Hiashi has tried to produce an heir. It was in vain.

Ever since the wedding, Hizashi was trying his best not to have children He didn't want them to suffer the way he was. It was in vain.

Neji was born during the first day of spring.

Hiashi spent the entire day arguing with the elders to spare the child until he was a bit older.

Hizashi loved him so much for sparing his child.

Hizashi never thanked Hiashi. Hiashi never expected it.

When the Kyubi attacked, Hiashi went to stop it alone while the rest of the clan evacuated.

Hizashi knew he would.

Hiashi was about to be crushed by one of its' nine tails.

Hizashi pushed him out of the way. Hiashi owed him his life.

They yelled at each other for the first time in their entire lives. What did the Kyubi matter when you owed your twin your life?

When a building nearly crushed Hizashi, Hiashi pushed him out of the way. Hizashi owed him his life.

They were even. They stopped fighting. They led all the shinobi around them and delayed the Kyubi for a grand total of 10 seconds. That was the longest any group held it off.

5 seconds for Hiashi.

5 seconds for Hizashi.

They never mentioned the moment of bonding again.

Hinata was born in the middle of winter.

Hizashi spent the whole day keeping her company while her father excused himself for the rest of the day.

The world considered Hiashi heartless for not even caring about his daughter.

Hizashi knew better. Hiashi had excused himself because showing emotions in their clan was a sign of weakness.

Hiashi cried tears of joy the whole day.

Hizashi smiled unashamedly the whole day.

Hinata was two. Neji was three.

Hiashi and Hizashi stared at each other solemnly.

Neji blushed. Hinata shied away.

Hiashi and Hizashi knew it was a sad day.

Neji wore bandages across his forehead. Hinata stared wide-eyed.

Hiashi smiled ruefully. The world thought he smiled triumphantly.

Hizashi knew the truth. He never forgave Hiashi for being born first after that day.

Six months later, Kumo-nin snuck in and kidnapped Hinata. They didn't get far before Hiashi killed them.

International treaties had been breached and they wanted Hiashi's head.

Hizashi never forgave him for being born first but he loved his big brother.

He wrote a letter for Neji and he entrusted it to Hiashi.

Hiashi was confused.

Hizashi reached the Hokage tower first calmly.

Hiashi read the letter and ran to the Hokage tower frantically. He reached their second.

Hizashi said he would take the fall for Hiashi mistake.

Hiashi yelled at him for the second time in their entire lives. Hizashi did not yell back.

Hiashi cried in front of Hizashi for the first time in their lives.

Hizashi smiled at Hiashi for the first time in their lives.

Hizashi died. Hiashi lived.

He was first to come and last to go. Hiashi never forgave Hizashi for being born second after that day.

They were even.

_**Branches of a tree join and diverge.**_

_**They began together and ended apart.**_

_**They knew each other better than they knew themselves.**_

_**Love never spoken but loved in the heart.**_


	5. Sakumo and the Consequences

E. **Empty**: Because it always felt empty inside Hatake Sakumo.

Hatake Sakumo was a very fortunate man. He was hailed a prodigy and his mind always worked faster than the others his age. His body was naturally lithe and sturdy at the same time and he had a lot of stamina and energy to burn.

When he went to the Academy and started learning chakra control, he was the best at it and people thought he would be great. The teachers praised him and the Hokage commended him and his parents loved him and the world was right. But he still wasn't satisfied. He didn't know why.

His ninja career stretched out in front of him.

He was good at _everything_.

Genjutsu, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, you name it. He was the perfect shinobi. He was hard-working, kind, friendly, dutiful, diligent, patriotic, helpful, modest and sensible. He loved his village, he believed in the will of fire and he loved his Hokage.

But there was still something wrong. He felt it rarely, sometimes in the middle of the night when the sounds of life ceased to exist, sometimes when he lopped off somebody's head and the blood glowed crimson red, and when he saw the memorial stone.

That giant block of marble that had the lives of a million heroes imbedded in it. A million people who sweat and bled through their thick vests and grime covered faces mixed with tears for a village that meant everything to them. And he knew he would be one of them. And he was glad he would be. Because he loved his home.

But he still felt empty inside.

He was a very efficient killer and an even better leader. He completed his missions perfectly and never wasted time and never killed pointlessly.

It was like he could do no wrong. And still he felt empty.

On one of his B-rank missions, he met a very strange person. She was strong and delicate, ugly and irresistible, sturdy and fragile, annoying and yet so endearing.

She killed him more times emotionally than he had killed people physically. He decided that she would be the one he lost his virginity to because he liked her and she wasn't all that bad looking.

Weird spiky hair and a weird cross-shaped birthmark on her cheek that she said was hereditary were her most prominent features. And she spoke in a sort of drawl. She was called Talia the Terrible by most people. And she was good in bed.

He had fun doing random things for about half a year and craziness and whims ruled his life. And when the mission was over, he dawdled a bit. It was probably that delay that changed his life forever.

He heard a scream so brutal that he got scared out of his mind and started perspiring profusely because it sounded like a banshee on steroids. Not that he'd ever heard that but still.

He ran towards the sound, dread weighing him down like a 900 pound boulder.

He reached a decrepit building which smelled worse than a public bathroom and was dirtier than a rubbish dump. He walked in cautiously and saw a sight that really made him feel like fainting. But he was Hatake Sakumo for goodness sake, so stop underestimating his coping abilities!

He saw a pregnant Talia. Moaning. Under a naked bulb. With a bag of jelly beans clutched in one of her hands. She wiggled her fingers at him and complained cheerfully about annoying kicking babies.

He had no choice but to take her back to Konoha with him.

And for the next 4 months of her pregnancy, he went on dozens of back-to-back A-rank missions that put his life in danger three times a minute. And the adrenaline rush was great and compensated for the growing feeling of emptiness in his heart.

He wanted so badly to kill himself because then the adrenaline rush would stop the clawing feeling of uselessness in him.

He thought he was dying when one day, someone started yelling at him.

At first, he was disoriented. Where was he? What was he doing? Why couldn't he remember anything?

Hatake Sakumo had never drunk a drop of liquor in his life so he had never experienced a hangover. But if he had, that is the feeling he would have associated it to.

His vision came into focus all of a sudden and he realized he was in the middle of a fight and the fight had been going on for quite some time, judging by the semi-clotted wounds on his arm.

And he didn't remember fighting at all. But he must have been because his blade was drawn and it was quite bloody and his hearing improved and he heard that his opponent was yelling at him, calling him a monster and dissed the way of his sword by calling it filthily primal and wolfish and utterly savage.

Iwa-nin were not good at many things, but they were very good at creating fearsome titles. After that day, he was known across the shinobi continent as 'The White Fang'.

His disorientation was impairing and the feeling of emptiness was deepening and it became a struggle to wake up and work. He was only 27.

He never went to the hospital because he felt that there was more importance in treating those who were dying rather than a ninja who was having problems adjusting to approaching senescence.

If he had gone to the hospital and gotten diagnosed, they would have told him he was suffering from severe depression and a mild form of amnesia.

But he never did. And then his son was born and he was filled with joy and the emptiness was nearly gone because it was the sweetest, most fragile being he had ever seen. He was in love for the first time in his life.

He named him Kakashi after the father of Talia, who died 2 days after giving birth due to chakra poisoning.

And Kakashi was his pride and joy and everything good. He was a cheerful, obedient, curious, intelligent child and he was a prodigy and he was amazing and he was so amazing that Sakumo felt like crying because no shinobi deserved such an amazing boy.

He taught him everything he knew and more. He taught him that the sky was the limit and he was going to fly higher than anyone ever could. He lied terribly because it was impossible but he never felt guilty because he realized that this was exactly what his own father had done to him. And besides, he believed in Kakashi enough to never think of it as a lie.

And then the mission that decided his fate. It was an A-rank mission. Nothing special, nothing impossible. It was funny what a little trap could do to change everything. And the worst part – the trap was in plain sight in the middle of an empty field.

His team of 5 was demolished. Two died in the explosion that ensued and two were captured by the enemy.

And their fate was in his hand He _could_ finish the mission and abandon the team and go back to the village relatively unharmed. Or he could abandon the mission and save his team and probably die in the process.

He chose the latter. And his arm became useless and his eyesight nearly failed him and he got caught twice and his cover was blown thrice and his team was near death and hated him for the rest of their lives, but he didn't regret it.

When he returned to the village, he was shunned and ignored and looked down upon and hated and spat on and mistreated and snubbed. He just smiled and bore it. But the empty feeling returned.

And then the incident that decided his fate. It was minor and overlookable, but Sakumo was nothing if not observant. Someone shoved Kakashi on the streets On purpose And yelled at him for having a disgrace for a father.

He didn't know what to do. Kakashi bore it and yelled at the man for disrespecting his father and told him he 'didn't know the first thing about disgraceful!'

His little Kakashi was being mistreated for something he did His family was disgraced for something he did. His friends hated him and turned their backs on him for the same thing that caused his other friends to be shunned and caused Talia's grave to be spat upon.

Seppuku was something he'd never ever considered. But he would commit it if it meant Kakashi would be treated right. With a feeling of completion, something he had never felt before, he plunged the kunai into his chest.

He never felt empty ever again.

But his son did.


	6. Chouza and the forever that never lasts

F. **Fat**: A word Akimichi Chouza was well acquainted with.

Akimichi Chouza had been called fat his whole life and, as the son of the 15th head of the Akimichi clan, he did not like the stereotype. So he did his best to show it to the world. He knocked out anyone who so much as looked at him the wrong way and wouldn't take half-arsed apologies into consideration. This attitude and temperament stayed with Chouza from the time he was 3 until well into his 6th year of life.

But when he entered the academy, he realized that being the boss was not all it was cut out to be. Nobody approached him. Everyone was scared of him. Everyone gave him a wide berth.

Chouza mellowed a little.

He let his guard down a teensy bit.

The teasing began ten times stronger than before. He had already come to the conclusion that pummeling everyone that teased him wasn't going to get anyone anywhere anyhow anytime soon. So he changed tactics.

He made everyone's lives miserable.

He sat at the back of the class so that he could watch everyone but no one could watch him. HE ate BBQ chips in the middle of lessons just to piss the teachers off. He was sure they were calling him fat behind his back too.

And the boring lessons became a lot less boring when he started farting in class. At first it happened by accident, but when he saw the results, who could blame him for continuing? Everyone was rankled and had tried to get away from him and the class had stunk horribly. The teachers were pissed. It wasn't like he cared either way.

He didn't have any friends though. No one liked talking to him. In fact, the only person who even looked at him twice or even spoke to him politely was the eleven year old waitress at Yakiniku BBQ. And even then, he was pretty sure she was polite to everybody who ordered anyway.

Until he was eight and there was a new student in the class who wreaked enough havoc for everyone including Inoichi.

Uzumaki Kushina. She was his first friend. Or acquaintance. Either way, she was the first person who ever actually talked to him. And all he had to do was be polite. Then came Inoichi. The most unlikely of comrades but a comrade nonetheless And Shikaku, who was as a sack of sugar glazed donuts.

They called him fat and overweight and "Chubby McChubby pants" in Inoichi's case, but he decided being polite was a good course of action(almost as smart as picking triple chocolate fudge and chip cookies over ginger nut ones) and so, he didn't pummel them to within an inch of their lives, though he did come close.

And then he became a ninja. He was on a team with Inoichi and Shikaku and he thanked the deity of Beef Barbeque delight that he was on a team with people he knew.

They went on a million back to back missions, most successful, half of them hilarious and for the other half, they were too smashed to care.

He covered Shikaku, Shikaku covered Inoichi, Inoichi covered him. They were the perfect team.

After every successful mission, after every failed mission and all the time in between, they went to Yakiniku BBQ that served sake _and _BBQ. Could it get any better?

Ino-Shika-Chou. It meant everything to him. It was his second family.

He saw when Shikaku was drowning in responsibility and couldn't keep up with life.

He told Inoichi.

They went out to get smashed. It worked.

He saw when Inoichi was contemplating suicide over getting a pretty blonde girl pregnant.

He told Shikaku.

They went out to get smashed. It worked.

They were both back to normal.

The whole time he was looking out for them, the eleven year old(now nearly 29 years old) waitress was looking at him.

And one day, he had to go Yakiniku BBQ alone. Shikaku was busy with being Jounin Hanchou and Inoichi was busy being the pretty blonde girls punching bag.

The waitress asked him where they were. She had pretty eyes. They were nice and brown and reminded him of nicely roasted chicken.

He told her and she laughed. It sounded like ice landing in a glass full of cool tropical fruit juice.

He decided he liked her.

He talks. She talks. They stay silent. It was comfortable. He liked it. He was pretty sure she liked it too.

He asks her out. She laughs and says yes.

He didn't think he'd ever felt prouder of himself than at that moment.

Mission, drinking, Inoichi's wedding, bachelors party, drinking, date, eating, shopping for food, drinking, Inoichi getting coerced into going on a honeymoon, getting smashed, finding out Inoichi's wife lied to him about being pregnant, drinking and more missions.

He was in love. It was spring. It was ironic.

He was getting fatter.

Kimi(the waitress) didn't care that he was fat. He should know. He asked her directly. She didn't even flinch and looked at him straight in the eye and told him love had nothing to do with weight.

She was so kind.

She was a ninja academy drop out. At 10, she realized two important things. One, he loved cooking and her cooking time would be cut short if she became a ninja. Two, she couldn't hurt a fly even if she really wanted to. How was she going to kill enemy ninja? She was too kind.

He married her.

They lived happily ever after.

Until the Kyubi attack of course.

She died then. He couldn't feel the pain. He was numb, he was sweating, he was scared, he was the father of a 2 month old angel, he was crying and it all ended because she was dead.

Ino-Shika-Chou. All three fell in love at relatively the same time. All three had children at relatively the same time. Inoichi and Chouza lost a part of their soul during the Kyubi attack.

Shikaku knew getting smashed wasn't going to help.

Chouza pulled his act together. HE married his house maid. Definite Akimichi, loved Chouji, fond of Chouza and hero-worshipped Kimi. What else could he ask for in a second wife that he probably won't like all that much.

He never told Chouji. No one spoke of Kimi.

Chouji grew up. He was called fat. He was too kind to retaliate. He had a friend by the time he was 3.

It was all worth it.

_**Things never go as planned**_

_**But it isn't all bad**_

"_Just because you're fat doesn't mean I don't care about you Chouza!"-Kimi(32)_

"_Just because you're fat doesn't mean you aren't my friend Chouji."-Shikamaru(5)_


	7. Tsume and the Grin

G. **Guess**: You never knew what Inuzuka Tsume was thinking.

She was Inuzuka Tsume.

Vivacious, ambiguous, volatile, snarky and damn good in bed.

Passionate, opinionated and sarcastic. She'll silence you before you could come up with a comeback.

Hard to deal with, willful, independent. Leader. Feminist. Loyal.

Headstrong, crazy and annoying. Not someone you want to mess with.

Her grin was feral. Primal. Fearsome. Alive.

Nothing fazed her. Catcalls and jeers, snotty noses and fears. She was grinning at it all the way through.

Who stole the cookie? Tsume grinned.

Who blunted the kunai? Tsume grinned.

Who snuck out last night? Tsume grinned.

Who made Kuromaru chase the Daimyo's cat up a tree? Tsume rolled on the ground with laughter. That damn cat had it coming.

Who smells like sex? Tsume grinned.

Who smells of alcohol? Tsume grinned. And hiccupped.

Who killed her stepfather? Tsume grinned.

Who murdered the ANBU on guard duty? Tsume grinned.

Who destroyed the 9th warehouse? Tsume grinned.

Who killed the chickens? Tsume grinned.

Who got pregnant? Tsume grinned.

What's the baby's name? Tsume grinned. "Hana."

Who's the father? Tsume grinned.

Will he take responsibility? Tsume grinned.

Who let a dog babysit their first born? Tsume grinned.

The Hokage was exasperated with her. Her unfortunate one-night stand was forced to marry her by her clan. He was neurotic. She was forced into marrying him. Tsume grinned.

She had a baby at the age of fifteen.

Her dog partner nearly died on a routine B-rank gone wrong.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer.

The Hyuuga threatened to start a blood feud.

Her best friends split up. Most died.

Tsume grinned through it all.

She was spunky, suave and savage.

She was unforgettable, glowing and eye-catching.

She was perplexing, flexible and unique.

She was Inuzuka Tsume.

She was friendly, social and approachable.

No one knew what the hell she was thinking.

She was Inuzuka Tsume.

Who had another baby four years later? Tsume grinned.

What's the baby's name? Tsume grinned. "Kiba."

Who's husband died in the war? Tsume grinned.

Who's clan was nearly annihilated during the Kyubi attack? Tsume didn't grin. She just gritted her teeth and moved on.

Who raised 2 children, 6 dogs and an unruly clan? Tsume grinned.

Who dealt with the Council From Hell on a daily basis? Tsume grinned.

Who was a single mother? Tsume grinned.

She was bossy, nagging and an overly protective mother.

She was volatile, temperamental and handled things physically.

She was fun, motherly('Savage more like.' Kiba grumbled.) and proud of her pups.

She was a widow, a man and a clan head.

She was Inuzuka Tsume.

And she liked it that way.


	8. Mikoto and her Home

H.**Home**: A conflicting word for Uchiha Mikoto.

They say that home is where the heart is, but Mikoto never did quite understand it. She figured that it was nonsensical to take out your heart and prop it on a pedestal somewhere in a wooden house. It was a very silly notion.

When she was 4 years old, her mother, strict and poised, told her that her father wanted to speak to her in 'his chambers'. Never mind that it was a single-storey 3 bedroom house and that the 'chambers' was where the woman slept as well.

Her father had never actually spoken to her before then, so she was quite excited. All she could remember of her father was a hazy image of power and prestige and a rather stiff back. In later years, she supposed he had had a back problem, but at the time, it just added to his mystique presence (or lack thereof). She wore her best clothes and pinned her short hair with a sapphire encrusted clip and poisedly walked the 4 foot distance from her room to 'his chambers'.

She had a healthy amount of respect and adoration, tempered with fear and awe for her father – until he decided to open his mouth and tell her that she was engaged.

Never had she felt the oppression of her household more than at the time when he opened his mouth and recited the monotonous and rather well-rehearsed speech. To be wed to a complete stranger was not a newly instated tradition in the Uchiha clan, and as such, no one expected any opposition.

There probably wouldn't have been a single hitch in their plan had they waited at least 3 more years before telling her she was bound to a random man. Too bad they were a little hasty. Too bad Mikoto was still at the age where she believed in fairy tale happy endings and prince charmings and a golden sunset and true love.

She screamed and yelled and told them quite seriously that 'I'm saving myself fo' my twue wuv!'

The clan was in an uproar. It was unprecedented that a 4 year old would rebel, that a 4 year old would reject tradition, that such an idiotic reason was the catalyst for their failure.

They tried to persuade her to see reason, they tried to bribe her with ponies and dollies (she stated quite frankly that 'You'le gonna hafta do bette' than that!' and besides, she wanted a mermaid, not a silly pony!), they threatened her and mocked her and ostracized her, they even played the guilt trick on her ('Mommy really wants you to do this for her sweety' It would have worked had her mom ever called her sweety before, or if she was a little less observant.)

Eventually, they came up with a compromise. She would have her 'gi'l wights and fweedom!' by getting enrolled in the ninja academy, and in exchange, she would never wear pink again. (The clan head and elders were severely traumatized as it was)

She went into the ninja academy and through her powers of 'obse'vation and pewsevewence!' got promoted twice. It probably helped her case that the Uchiha wanted her to get out of the academy as fast as possible so that she would be unprepared so that she would quit faster so that they could finally get the marriage over and done with.

But we digress. Mikoto was by all means a very straightforward girl. It was a real pity that she never did quite interact with people close to her intellectual level. Shyness was a given.

She didn't make any friends in her first two years. Of course, she had the costumary Uchiha fanclub and posse, but she didn't have friends.

Until that red-head showed up. When that girl yelled to the class that she would become the first female Hokage, Mikoto was filled with so much maternal pride (she swears it is not a fanciful crush) and admiration, that she knew that Uzumaki Kushina would definitely be her friend.

Gone were the days that Prince charming and white horses mattered. Now all that was left was a one woman female revolution. NO WAY WAS SHE GETTING MARRIED AND BEING A LAME HOUSEWIFE!

So anyone who shared that belief was an idol in her book, but unfortunately for her, the feelings were not mutual. Kushina did not like her. She found Mikoto too girly. Now Mikoto had pride. Maybe not Uchiha pride, but she still had it. She did cry, but since it was the first time in her memory that she cried for a reasonable thing, she didn't even notice the tears cascading down her face.

When she touched her face and did notice (she was helped by the fact that everyone was staring at her and Kushina was staring at her wide-eyed), instead of excusing herself and running away, she simply wiped the tears off of her face and smiled gently as she had been taught to do, and sat down on her seat. There was no point, she reasoned, to leave class in the middle of the day. Those stuck up Uchiha elders wouldn't let her live it down.

Mikoto would love to be anywhere but home.

For some hurriedly explained reason that didn't make any sense to her, Kushina was now opening up to her. Humiliation notwithstanding, Mikoto just didn't have it in her to ignore the taunts and jeers she received from others for such an open display of emotions. She refused to be friends.

But unlike herself, Kushina didn't give up. She persisted for a whole year and beat up all of the bullies for her and talked to her nonstop and she was just so damn happy and open that it was all she could do to not fall on the floor and cry her eyes out in front of Kushina. No one had ever been this nice to her in her entire life.

Granted, she was only 9 years old, but to Mikoto, that was long enough. Soon, they were inseparable. There was no Mikoto without Kushina, and there was no Kushina without Mikoto.

Even though they got put onto two different Genin teams, and even if they took the Chunin exams 6 months apart, they were still best friends. They always found time for each other, and for Mikoto, this was home.

The messy, sweat-smelling one-bedroom apartment with a kitchenette and toilet side by side. Gross, disgusting, borderline unhygienic, but still home. Exactly the place she was perfectly okay with ripping her heart out of her chest and placing it on a pedestal somewhere near the bonsai plants(Kushina's most prized possession).

She advanced to Jounin faster than the Uchiha elders could blink and she excelled and exceeded her idiotic, rheumatic father's expectations. She was exceptional, hard headed and loving in the kind of way that made you wish you were better off being her enemy (or so Kushina says). She was beautiful on the battlefield and worked her Sharingan to death but never had she felt prouder of herself than the day she saved Kushina's life by stepping in the way of a poison-laced kunai aimed at her best friend.

At 16, her clan decided that enough was freaking enough. They forcefully took her out of the ninja program on the basis of how emotional she was on the battlefield(evidence was that she always saved a foreign shinobi instead of her own comrades {never mind that Kushina _was_ her comrade} and being mentally unstable).

The case was fought tooth and nail, but without the Hokage's support(or her non-Uchiha comrades) she was overruled. (They couldn't very well interfere with clan problems now could they?)

Seeing how angry Kushina was on her behalf, Mikoto realized it was time for her to grow up and shoulder her responsibilities as clan heiress. On her wedding day, Mikoto thanked Kushina with all her heart and cried, the same way she did at the academy, but this time, instead of herself mechanically wiping her face, Kushina softly did it for her.

She got married and moved in with the damn Uchiha prick and tried to make that dreadful place livable. She cleaned the damn dishes and laundered the freaking clothes and ironed the idiotic socks and basically acted like a slave. The prick had no qualms about making her do all the work and simply sat at the futon and watched her work her ass off as he sipped the green tea that she made. And the worst bit was, **he** **didn't like tomatoes!**

She loved tomatoes and especially tomato stuffed sushi. That damn Uchiha prick only liked wasabi and _rice._ Yuck!

Then she got freaking pregnant after they had another go at the whole sexual intercourse thing. Really, you couldn't call it sex because sex is supposed to be fun. It was like sticking a finger in her crotch to clean it up. Yeah. It was that bad.

5 months into it, and she got word that the rear forces were suffering heavily and they were going to be annihilated and there were no teams to spare.

Kushina was on the rear force squad. For the first time since their union, Mikoto asked Fugaku( the Uchiha prick) to let her be the reinforcement. Instead of acting like a completely normal husband who would disallow her, considering the danger of the battlefield and the risk on their unborn child, he smiled slightly (it really did strike her that it lit up his features beautifully. She vowed she would get him to smile like that again someday) and told her 'I was wondering when you were going to ask. I expected it a lot sooner to be honest.'

He sent with her a 6 man team (comprised mainly of Uchiha elites) and silenced all protests calmly and sent her off. That is where she got her name as one of the most fearsome mothers in all of Konoha. She was fighting off a high level Jounin with just a kunai, when other one came up from behind and was about to stab her in the stomach. Before anyone could react she grabbed the first shinobi's hand and swung him into the other one and stabbed her kunai in both of their crotches in quick succession. 'No one touches my baby!'

Some people feared that she had been possessed. Kushina beamed and hugged her and told her 'you are freaking amazing MIKO~!'

When she came back to the clan heads' house, she made sure to thank him. She even took the initiative and kissed him. He was wide-eyed and speechless and she decided that was a nice change from unchanging and stoic. And so they became a family. Itachi was born. He had Fugaku's everything (except for that disgusting love for rice) and Mikoto's laugh and un-Uchiha-ness (plus he loved sushi!).

Mikoto loved him to death. Fugaku loved him to death. Those damn Uchiha elders loved him to death and Kushina was godmother. Shisui was godfather(she had no idea why, seeing as he was only 6 years old, but it was Fugaku's idea).

Itachi was a quiet and sweet baby. He never caused too much of a fuss, never cried overly much, was always curious and eager to learn, listened when he was told something, obeyed rules and loved his family a lot.

Mikoto could honestly say that this 4 bedroom house with a separate sitting room and kitchen-cum-dining room and 2 bathrooms along with 3 en suite ones was home.

Because it smelled like baby powder and strawberries and tomatoes (Fugaku says that tomatoes don't have a smell, Mikoto gave him a look and he was forever silenced on that topic) and sang of happy memories and a song that only she could hear followed her all day long and hummed as she went to bed.

Fugaku wasn't so much of a prick and she had come to love him as much as she could(which was quite a lot mind you) and she had now taken to ordering him about the house and telling him to iron his own damn socks. There was a sharing of laundry duties and on every special occasion, Fugaku was to cook.

Itachi learned his jutsus from his dad and weapon-handling from his mom (Yes, Mikoto could damn well teach him weapons better than half those lame brained Uchiha!)

He excelled at both and more. He learned Taijutsu from Kushina-nee-chan ('If he calls me obaa-chan, I'll castrate him before he even knows how to use that damn thing!') and Genjutsu from Shisui (turned out Shisui was quite a prodigy). He exceeded all of their expectations.

Mikoto was so proud of him that on her 23rd birthday decided that she would give Itachi a little present. The kid was already a Chunin and well on his way to Jounin. She told him he was going to have a baby brother.

Itachi smiled. It was so beautiful because he rarely ever did and it lit up his whole face.

Sasuke came along and she couldn't stop smiling herself. Fugaku had never been happier and Kushina was going to have a baby in three months time. Mikoto was all set to go back to the ninja program after all was said and done, but the Kyubi attack destroyed her.

Kushina was gone.

_**Kushina **_was gone.

Kushina was _**gone.**_

She lost the will of fire, she lost the will to live and she lost her fiery spirit.

She truly became what the elders wanted her to become. The perfect wife.

Sasuke never knew how much she changed. Itachi smiled less. Fugaku became harsher and colder. The Uchiha clan became more Uchiha-centric.

And everything went downhill from there. To the point where they started planning a coup d'état and she went along with it. Her heart was no longer home. Half of it was with Kushina. On a pedestal in heaven.

Itachi murdered them all. In that rare moment of panic when Fugaku snapped from the stress, she went back to the time when Kushina had been pissed off at the Uchiha clan for caging her in. She felt the same emotions again, but differently.

She thanked Fugaku for all he had done for her. He nearly cried.

And when Itachi was about to kill them, she and her husband told him that no matter what he did, they would always love him.

It was what she had wanted her father and mother to say to her when she was a child.

And Itachi cried. She died.

She was home, ready to rip her heart out and place it on a pedestal once more.

(2506 words)


End file.
